Limitless

I watched Limitless yesterday. It was... classy, fresh, thrilling, full of psychological twists and turns, and gave me a dose of humanity 101. The whole story is surrounding this pill. This pill allows us to access ALL of our brains rather than just 20%. When a man not doing well in life takes it, he becomes... well limitless. After watching the movie I wanted one of those. I couldn't even begin to imagine how different my life would be. Even with all the monstrous things that happened to him...
So I began to think all what it was the pill did to him that made him successful, and the main thing he did was... remember. In almost every scene he used a memory of something he had previously done. For example when he is downtown he got into a fight, but remembered watching a jackie Chan movie when he was little. He was easily able to fight them off. So this movie made me realize that success is closely linked with memory. Just a thought.

March

Doesn't it always seem like in March we find ourselves? Or maybe not finding ourselves... but it's evident that every year in March we, or at least I, make an effort to better ourselves. That's when I started this blog: last year in March.
Every March something changes in me. Be it the change in weather (although there's not much of a change around here) or the pressure that people put on me around this time. I always get inspired, every March.

Violence

My little brother has had a social disorder since he was born. Because of it he has been picked on consistently during his school years. Now in sixth grade, I am fearful that things are getting out of hand for him. Never have I endured anything he's gone through. Almost everyday he is called names such as "Gay" (which he is not) or "loser". Two days ago a few of the boys in his grade punched him and continually tripped him. Today some girls spread vicious rumors of him doing inappropriate thing to them. (Which he did not). The girls later on admitted to the principal that they were lies. However the seed has now been planted and will continue to be spread around the school. How I sympathize for him. He comes home crying everyday. I don't really know why I'm posting this. I suppose this is becoming my diary.

Health care for me

So many Americans seem to be against the health care plan because they truthfully believe that the health care system needs no change. These people obviously have never had health problems. My family and I do. As I've explained before I have several health problems, as do my mother, as do my brother. (My brother has been on growth shots since he was born). So as you can see our medical bill is our highest expense. Yet insurance companies seem to believe my family is made out of money. Our deductible (now covering medicines) has been raised this year to $4,600! Concluding the coverage we get to $0. My brother can not grow without his shots and they are very pricey. Thankfully my dad has enough stock to sell off. (Even though it really isn't worth what it should be) Others are not so lucky. Why is it no one can help us in the "greatest country in the world"?

Micheal Moore

Just finished Micheal Moore's newest film "Capitalism a love affair" one of the main problems I noticed through out the film was that my brothers face (and mine as well) seemed to have a puzzled expression on it about half way through. This was because neither of us had a clear idea of what capitalism is. So I looked it up. My trusted friend Wikipedia told me something that sparked my attention. "There is no consensus on the definition of capitalism, nor how it should be used as an analytical category." Funny isn't it? However I did manage to find a rather confusing and overly literal definition on Dictionary.com "an economic system in which investment in and ownership of the means of production, distribution, and exchange of wealth is made and maintained chiefly by private individuals or corporations, esp. as contrasted to cooperatively or state-owned means of wealth." So As you can see I didn't really find anything specific. I did manage to get the gist of the movie though.
I loved the part where the workers went on strike and finally after several days got media attention. I loved the part where the 'tax-payers of America' (an overly used term) got evicted. Most of all I loved the part when Micheal Moore tried to make a citizens arrest, but could not. Now so as not to confuse anyone, I should say that I did not love these scenes because of what happened. I loved them because it once again was a wake up call to me. The world is not perfect like I thought it was. Let me explain. I lead a very sheltered life and like most wealthy white girls life in a upper-middle class suburban neighborhood (A neighborhood that our mayor lives in). So it was a complete shock when I attended Driving school this last week. My driving school is not in the area where I live but rather in a ghetto part of town. This school had several nice kids in it who I have befriended. On the contrary some are not so nice. Some gang members in it are not so nice. You see last week there was a riot outside the building. With about 40 black teenage males. And during our break (while everyone was constantly peering out our guarding door) a gun shot went off. That was the first time I had ever heard a gun. By that time police officers had already been coming and going breaking up the fights. Yet the boys kept coming back until that gun shot rang. No media showed up. Later on in the news I heard nothing about what happened. And all the while in that class room some of the kids including the teacher acted as if this was normal. Because for them it was.
So much like my ghetto experience this was another wake up call. The world has a lot of fixing to do. And when I say I loved this wake up call I mean it. This might sound sick and maybe twisted but I'm happy to know that there's a problem out there. I've grown up worrying about what college to go to or what to wear. (Even though this sounds completely contradictory I don't like having those problems) I want problems that mean something that I can make a meaningful difference in by changing. So it's nice to hear that I can actually fight for this. So let's fight for what we believe in whether it be health care or capitalism or tax-cuts. Just care. That's all that really matters, as long as people care we're in good shape.

The first...

I've never done anything like a blog before. Too nervous I suppose. Although cloaking my true identity through a blog helps a lot. For the past several years I've been working towards confidence. Don't we all need some? Working is easy for me it always has. I just need something to work towards to. That happens to be my fatal flaw. A lack of confidence=A lack of knowing what one is to do=A lack of person. At least it seems like it adds up to that.
Last year during lunchtime several of my weirdo friends and I would lock ourselves up in a practice room. (Practice room in the orchestra room.) So as to shield ourselves from the world and all in it. Amongst ourselves we would throw constant pity parties and many tears were shed. Thus the depression room was born! Perhaps this can be a section in my blog the "depression room". Although isn't life kind of already depressing???
I guess since I made this blog as an outlet I suppose I should begin with an honest alibi of my life. A large part of my life is devoted to medicine and doctors. Why you ask? I'm sick, but don't ask me what I have because I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. I've been dealing with this for several years now. It's a combination of fatigue, muscle pain, headaches, stomach pains, etc. The list goes on and on and well you get the idea. So while I have all the major symptoms and signs of a auto-immune disease there are so many that it makes for a hard diagnoses. Not to mention that most auto-immune diseases are incurable. Some times I feel like I'm crazy. Does anyone know how I feel?
Please if there's anyone out there it would be nice to have some comments and not just be writing to an empty screen.